Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Everybody Stands

Everybody Stands

April 5, 2026

A preacher goes into a bar and says “Anybody who wants to go to heaven, stand up. “ Everybody stands up except for a drunk in the corner. The preacher says “My son, don’t you want to go to heaven when you die?” The drunk says “When I die? Sure. I thought you were taking

Where Lawyers Come From – James Asked

Where Lawyers Come From – James Asked

April 5, 2026

When James asked his girlfriend if he could fuck her in the arse, she looked at him with a wicked glint in her eye and said, “Baby, I’m happy to try anything you want me to, just so long as you’d be prepared to do it yourself… So, do you still want to try anal

Kinky Stuff

Kinky Stuff

April 5, 2026

A 30 something year old man goes to a singles bar and starts up a conversation with a woman who was about his age. They’re really hitting it off and the chemistry is strong, so after a couple drinks they start to open up to each other. “I’m gonna be honest with you, “says the

Say-Old Habits

Say-Old Habits

April 5, 2026

While on a date a woman goes to the bathroom Man: “Uh… wrong way that’s the men’s room” Woman: “Oh my God! this is so embarrassing!” Man: “It’s not a big deal. “ Woman: “I guess not, but you know what they say-old habits die hard. “ This joke is included in the Black Book

Redneck Twice

Redneck Twice

April 5, 2026

A redneck goes into a doctor’s cabinet and says “Doctor, doctor you’ve gotta help me. I just can’t stop having sex!” “Well how often do you have it?” the doctor asks. “Well, twice a day I have sex with my wife, twice a day”, he answers back. “That’s not so much”, says the doctor. .

Once She’d Read

Once She’d Read

April 5, 2026

David got a letter from the doctor one day. “Brilliant!” he said to his wife, “The doc says I must have daily sex!” “No, you stupid cunt, “she replied once she’d read it, “He says you must have dyslexia. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from

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Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Giorgio Rushes

Giorgio Rushes

April 5, 2026

Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something

Bites Yes

Bites Yes

April 5, 2026

“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of

Trained Parrot

Trained Parrot

April 5, 2026

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a

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