Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
O’clock Sharp
April 5, 2026
Three old men were sitting around talking about who had the worst health problems. The seventy-year-old said, “Have I got a problem?Every morning I get up at 7:30 and have to take a piss, but I have to stand at the toilet for an hour ’cause my pee barely trickles out. “ “Heck, that’s nothing,
Chocolate Sundae Crushed
April 5, 2026
A elderly retiree wobbled gingerly into an ice cream shop and carefully, slowly climbed up onto a counter stool. He wheezed for a minute, then ordered a chocolate sundae. “Crushed nuts?” asked the server. “No, “he answered. “Bad knees. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from
Well Doc
April 5, 2026
A man rushes out of his wife’s hospital room. “Doctor, doctor — my wife’s been in a coma for several months, but when I just touched her left breast, she sighed!” “That’s very encouraging, “says the doctor. “Go back and touch her right breast. See if she reacts. “ A few minutes later, the man
Asshole Brian
April 5, 2026
Brian received a call from a recruitment lady. She said to him: “Sir, I have two openings for you. “ Brian: “Yes I Know. “ *Awkward silence* She: “Asshole” Brian: “I prefer the other one. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Older Alien Leaned
April 5, 2026
Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, “Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader. “ The gas pump, of course, didn’t respond. The younger alien became angry
Gonna Bite
April 5, 2026
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, “Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?” She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually the lady asks, “Aren’t you gonna bite them?” He replies,
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a