Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Physician Roared
April 5, 2026
“Doc, I think my son has VD, “a patient told his urologist on the phone, “The only woman he’s screwed is our maid. “ “Okay, don’t be hard on him. He’s just a kid, “the medic soothed, “Get him in here right away and I’ll take care of him. “ “But I’ve been screwing the
Exclaimed You’ll Wake
April 5, 2026
A guy was standing in a bar when a stranger walked in. After a while they get to talking and at about 10:30 PM the second guy says, “Oh well,I better get home. My wife doesn’t like me to stay out during late night. “ The first guy replies, “I’ll help you out of this.
Double Dose
April 5, 2026
A man went to the doctor’s office to get a double dose of Viagra. The doctor told him that he couldn’t allow him a double dose. “Why not?” asked the man. “Because it’s not safe, “replied the doctor. “But I need it really badly, “said the man. “Well, why do you need it so badly?”
Peanut Falls
April 5, 2026
While watching TV with his wife, a man tosses peanuts into the air and catches them in his mouth. Just as he throws another peanut into the air, the front door opens, causing him to turn his head. The peanut falls into his ear and gets stuck. His daughter comes in with her date. The
Martian Couple
April 5, 2026
One day, a spaceship landed in a farmer’s field and a Martian man and his wife got out and introduced themselves to the farmer and his wife. As a token of his friendship, the farmer immediately invited the Martian couple to his home and begged them to stay for the evening and have dinner, so
Child’s Name Penny
April 5, 2026
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. “You all have obsessions, “he observed. To the first mother, he said, “You are obsessed with eating. You’ve even named your daughter Candy. “ He turned to the second mom. “Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a