Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Blond Smirked

Blond Smirked

April 5, 2026

A blond, a redhead and a brunette were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending people to different planets. First, they called the brunette in and asked her a question. “If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and why?” After pondering the question she answered,

Librarian Nodded

Librarian Nodded

April 5, 2026

A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and with a screaming voice said, “I have a complaint!” “How can I help you?” said the librarian looking up at her. “I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!” Puzzled by her complaint the librarian asked “What was wrong with it?”

Burrrrrrr Gerrrrrrr

Burrrrrrr Gerrrrrrr

April 5, 2026

Two tourists were driving through Rhode Island. As they were approaching Quonochontaug, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town’s name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, where one of the tourists asked the blonde employee. “Before we order, could you please settle an

Responds Well

Responds Well

April 5, 2026

A man and his young son are walking together in a park, and they stumble upon two dogs mating. The son asks, “Daddy, Daddy! What are those dogs doing?” to which the man replies, “Son, those dogs are making puppies. “ Few weeks later, the child walks unannounced into his parents bedroom while his parents

Lad’s Lustful Desire

Lad’s Lustful Desire

April 5, 2026

A young couple is out for a romantic Valentine’s Day walk along a country lane. They walk hand in hand and as they stroll, the lad’s lustful desire rises to a peak. He is just about to get frisky when she says, “I hope you don’t mind, but I really do need to take a

Umbrella Keeping Scream

Umbrella Keeping Scream

April 5, 2026

“Give it to me! Give it to me!” she yelled. “I’m so wet, give it to me now!” She could scream all she wanted, but he was keeping the umbrella. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Giorgio Rushes

Giorgio Rushes

April 5, 2026

Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something

Bites Yes

Bites Yes

April 5, 2026

“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of

Trained Parrot

Trained Parrot

April 5, 2026

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a

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