Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Terrible Joe
April 5, 2026
Joe and Tom were identical twins. Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented out his boat to a group of out-of-staters who sank it. Joe spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he could and was out of touch all that day and
Professional Worrier David
April 5, 2026
David had been extremely anxious for years. It got to the point where his compulsive worrying was ruining his life, so he went to a psychiatrist, who recommended that David hire a professional worrier. After he’d been working with the specialist for a few months, David’s friend John noticed a change. “What happened?” John asked.
Sex Pull
April 5, 2026
Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom with the lights out, since they can’t see each other signing. After several nights of fumbling around and many misunderstandings, the wife figures out a solution. “Honey, why don’t we agree on some
Grandmother Hugs
April 5, 2026
Pauly’s family is at dinner, the 10-year-old daughter isn’t eating much, and she just keeps her head down. After a few minutes, she says, “I have something to tell you. “ Everyone gets silent and they all listen. “I am no longer the virgin I used to be. “And she begins to cry. A long
Olympic Endurance Swimmer
April 5, 2026
A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She said, “But we don’t know anything about each other. “ He said, “That’s all right, we’ll learn about each other as we go along. “ She consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a
Adversary’s Main Witness
April 5, 2026
A lawyer cross-examined the adversary’s main witness. “You claim to have stopped by Mrs. Willson house just after breakfast. Will you tell the jury what she said?” “Objection, your honor, “shouted the other lawyer. There then followed a long argument between the lawyers as to whether the question was proper. Finally, after 75 minutes, the
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a