Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Sex Lives Sue

Sex Lives Sue

April 5, 2026

Sue and Sally were discussing their sex lives. Sue said, “Mine’s OK. We get it on every week, but it’s no big adventure. How’s yours?” Sally replied, “It’s been great ever since we got into S&M. “ Sue was surprised. “Really, Sally, I never would have guessed that you’d go for that. “ “Oh, sure,

Researcher Explained

Researcher Explained

April 5, 2026

At a recent convention of biological scientists, one researcher remarked to another, “Did you know that we have switched from rats to lawyers for experiments in our lab?” “Really?” replied the other researcher. “Why the switch?” “There were a number of reasons, “the first researcher explained. “First, our lab assistants don’t become so attached to

Massive Red-Haired Highlander

Massive Red-Haired Highlander

April 5, 2026

One misty Scottish morning a man is driving through the hills to Inverness. Suddenly out of the mist, a massive red-haired highlander steps into the middle of the road. The man is at least six feet four, has a huge red beard and, despite the wind, mist, and near freezing temperatures, is wearing only his

Afraid Stephen

Afraid Stephen

April 5, 2026

She entered the office of a noted divorce lawyer. ‘I want to know if I have grounds for divorce?” she asked. “Are you married?” asked the lawyer. “Yes, I am. “ “Then, “he replied, “you have grounds. “ A conversation between patients in hospital. Roger: “Why did you run away from the operation table?” Stephen:

Baby Cries

Baby Cries

April 5, 2026

With the help of a fertility specialist, a 75 year old woman becomes pregnant and delivers a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family. When they ask to see the baby, the 75 year old mother says, “Not yet. “ A little later they ask to see

Orthopedic Surgeon

Orthopedic Surgeon

April 5, 2026

An elderly lady and an orthopedic surgeon were traveling in an elevator together. The doors started to shut as the lady was trying to get out of the doors. The surgeon kindly put his head in between the doors so the lady could get out. “Thank you very much, “said the lady, “but why did

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Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Giorgio Rushes

Giorgio Rushes

April 5, 2026

Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something

Bites Yes

Bites Yes

April 5, 2026

“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of

Trained Parrot

Trained Parrot

April 5, 2026

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a

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