Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Goldfish Isn’t
April 5, 2026
One day little Johnny was digging a hole in his backyard. The next-door neighbor spotted him and decided to investigate. “Hello Johnny, what are you up to?” he asked. “My goldfish died and I’m gonna bury him, “Johnny replied. “That’s a really big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?” asked the neighbor. “That’s because he’s
City Workers Explained
April 5, 2026
A passerby noticed a couple of city workers working along the city sidewalks. The man was quite impressed with their hard work, but he couldn’t understand what they were doing. Finally, he approached the workers and asked, “I appreciate how hard you’re both working, but what the heck are you doing? It seems that one
Discuss Nuclear Power
April 5, 2026
A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to Little Johnny and said, “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. “ Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the
We’re Short-Handed Smith
April 5, 2026
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. “Boss, “he says, “we’re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff. “ “We’re short-handed, Smith, “the boss replies. “I can’t give you the day off. “ “Thanks, boss,
Officers Available
April 5, 2026
An elderly couple was just settling down for bed when the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the backyard. Then they heard voices. Three men had broken into the greenhouse. Scared, the couple called the police. The dispatcher replied, he would send an officer as soon as one became
Shoe Heel Solemate
April 5, 2026
After becoming a pair, what did one shoe say to the other shoe? “Will you be my solemate?” The other shoe replies, “No, you’re nothing but a heel!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a