Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Peasant Jim Didn’t

Peasant Jim Didn’t

April 5, 2026

Once upon a time, there was a kingdom ruled by a kind but aging king. This king had a single daughter, beautiful and clever, but incredibly picky regarding suitors. At first, the king entertained many foreign princes and young nobles, seeking the hand of his daughter in marriage. However, the princess insisted every potential groom

Parrots Exclaimed

Parrots Exclaimed

April 5, 2026

A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, “Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing. “ “What do they say?” the priest inquired. “They say, ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?’“the woman said embarrassingly. “That’s

Cone Which

Cone Which

April 5, 2026

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, “Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?” “None, “replied Johnny, “cause the rest would fly away. “ “Well, the answer is four,

Unemployed Engineer

Unemployed Engineer

April 5, 2026

The economy is not going well and an unemployed engineer desperately needing work is nervous about an upcoming accountant job interview. The interview goes well, but as the engineer stands up to leave the manager says, “Oh just one more question. How much is four times eight?” Puzzled, the engineer responds that in all calculations,

Johnny Kills

Johnny Kills

April 5, 2026

“While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, “No honey for you for one month!” Later that afternoon, Johnny’s dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. “That’s it! No butter for you for one month!” says his dad. Later that evening

Spend Days Per

Spend Days Per

April 5, 2026

An employee comes into her manager’s office to take a day off from work. The manager replies, “So you want a day off. Let’s take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days

Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Giorgio Rushes

Giorgio Rushes

April 5, 2026

Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something

Bites Yes

Bites Yes

April 5, 2026

“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of

Trained Parrot

Trained Parrot

April 5, 2026

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a

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