Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Irritated Remarks
April 5, 2026
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Bank Officer Excused
April 5, 2026
After reading the complicated instructions for the automatic teller, the confused customer walked over to a bank officer. “Excused me, “said the customer, “but I was wondering if you could help me out. “ “Certainly, “smiled the officer. “Go right through that door. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You
Elephant Approaches
April 5, 2026
A guy encounters an elephant while on a safari in Africa. It’s in pain and laying on the ground. He looks into it and discovers a thorn in its foot. He takes it off, and the elephant trots away cheerfully. The same guy is standing in London, fifteen years later, watching a circus procession pass
Melissa Toaster Waterproof
April 5, 2026
Melissa was shocked when she found out her toaster was not waterproof. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Social Workers
April 5, 2026
A circus wife and husband go to an adoption agency to adopt a child, but the social workers there have reservations about their suitability. So the couple takes images of their fifty-foot motor home, which is well-maintained and has a lovely nursery. The social workers are pleased, but they are concerned about the type of
Student Answered
April 5, 2026
“What’s your name, son?” The principal asked his student. The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir. “ “Do you have a stutter?” the principal asked. The student answered, “No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes.
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a