Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Bob Fired Fight
April 5, 2026
Bob: Why aren’t you working? Al: The boss and I had a fight, and he won’t take back what he said. Bob: What did he say? Al: He said, “You’re fired!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Which Professor Steiner
April 5, 2026
A student burst into his professor’s office and said, “Professor Steiner, I don’t believe I deserve this ‘F’ grade that you’ve given me!” To which Professor Steiner replied, “I agree, but unfortunately it is the lowest grade the University will allow me to award. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes.
Didn’t Even Measure
April 5, 2026
Three contractors were visiting a tourist attraction on the same day. At the end of the tour, the guard asked them what they did for a living. When they all replied that they were contractors, the guard said, “Hey, we need one of the rear fences redone. Why don’t you guys take a look at
Hours Later Bubba
April 5, 2026
Old Bubba was fishing along the Bayou for catfish one day when he spotted a water moccasin slithering across the water with a toad in its mouth. Being a longtime fisherman, he knows the best bait for large catfish are toads. In a flash, Bubba grabs the snake from behind and carefully removes the toad
Next Available Train
April 5, 2026
Three absent minded physicists were busy discussing a project on the platform, while waiting for the train. The announcement was made, and the train finally arrived. There was complete panic among eagerly waiting passengers as the train made its way to the platform. Passengers rushed inside the train, and the train left, however, one of
Wrong Ingredient
April 5, 2026
A student in chemistry class was instructed to create a new substance by mixing some special ingredient with water. Unfortunately, the student chose the wrong ingredient and the teacher realized mixing it with water would create an explosion. He stopped the student and asked him to first stir the water in the bucket for five
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a