Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Weren’t Warned
April 5, 2026
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, “Bobby, when I was a child, I was told that if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that. “ Bobby looked up and replied,
Interference Until
April 5, 2026
During the historic first manned mission to Mars, two Astronauts were charting the Martian surface. “Look at that, “said one to the other, “how beautiful this alien landscape is, untouched by man. “ At that point, he was cut off, as he found his radio communications knocked out by unknown interference. They followed the source
College Professor
April 5, 2026
A college professor asked his class a question. “If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New York and Chicago is 1000 miles from Philadelphia and Los Angeles is 2000 miles from Chicago, how old am I?” One student in the back of the class raised his hand and when Called upon said, “Professor you’re 44. .
Solvent That’ll Dissolve
April 5, 2026
A father was very proud when his son went off to college. He came to tour the school on Parents’ Day, and observed his son hard at work in the chemistry lab. “What are you working on, son?” “A universal solvent, “explained his son. “A solvent that’ll dissolve anything. “ His father whistled, clearly impressed,
Morris Raised
April 5, 2026
Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her math classes: “A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?” After a
Double Negative Forms
April 5, 2026
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. “In English, “he said, “A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative. “ A voice from the back of the
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a