Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Least Invite
April 5, 2026
Her: At least invite me out to dinner. Him: I don’t go out with married women. Her: But I’m your wife. Him: I make no exceptions. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Manager Approved
April 5, 2026
A man in the Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce. The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce. The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he’ll ask his manager about it. Walking into the back room, the boy said
Wider Area
April 5, 2026
The parents of a difficult boy were discussing what to give him for a birthday present. The mother said, “Let’s buy him a bicycle. “ “Well, “said the father, “maybe – but do you think it will improve his behavior?” “Probably not, “said the mother, “but it will spread it over a wider area. “
Deck Bob
April 5, 2026
Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob just went straight over to Joe’s place. When they got to the door, Joe went straight to his wife, gave her a hug and told her how beautiful she was and how much he had missed her at work. When
Paper Airplane Carol
April 5, 2026
A fifth grader looked downcast, so her teacher asked. “What’s the problem Carol? I hope it’s not homework again. “ “Well, uh, yes, it is, “replied Carol “I was stupid and made my homework paper into a paper airplane. “ “Carol, you’re right, that wasn’t a very bright thing to do, “said the teacher, “but
Antartian Scientists
April 5, 2026
After digging to a depth of 100m last year, Russian scientists found traces of copper wiring dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago. So as not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American scientists dug 200m, and headlines in
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a