Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Antartian Scientists
April 5, 2026
After digging to a depth of 100m last year, Russian scientists found traces of copper wiring dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago. So as not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American scientists dug 200m, and headlines in
Professor I’ll Order
April 5, 2026
A college professor walked into a bar and said, “Bring me a martinus. “ The bartender smiled and said, “You mean martini?” “If I want more than one, “snapped the professor, “I’ll order them” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Houston Bus Number
April 5, 2026
The villager on his first trip to the city was waiting at a bus stop one morning. After some hesitation he asked a woman. “Which bus should I take to Houston?” “Bus Number 177, “the woman replied, and caught the next bus. The same evening, the woman got off a bus at the same stop
Vicky Where’s
April 5, 2026
“What did your mother do yesterday morning, Vicky?” “She done her shopping, ma’am. “ “Done her shopping, Vicky? Where’s your grammar?” “She done her shopping as well, ma’am. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Down Tails Let’s
April 5, 2026
The three friends were walking home from school. “What shall we do this afternoon?” said one. “I know, “said the second, “let’s spin a coin. If it comes down heads let’s go skating, and if it comes down tails let’s go swimming. “ “And if it comes down on its edge, “said the third, “let’s
Professor’s Office Hours
April 5, 2026
A student comes to a young professor’s office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly. “I would do anything to pass this exam, “she says. She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, and gazes meaningfully into his eyes. “I mean, “she whispers, “I would do anything… “ He
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a