Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Jeer Twenty-Two Carrots
April 5, 2026
“Hello, Ginger!” Her brother called cheerily to his sister. “Don’t call me Ginger!” she snapped furiously. “My hair is the color of gold. “ “Yeah, “he replied with a jeer, “twenty-two carrots!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Ain’t Nobody Goin’
April 5, 2026
Teacher: Now, you must not say, “I ain’t goin’. “You should say, “I am not going, he is not going; we are not going; they are not going. “ Student: Wow! Ain’t nobody goin’ then? This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Chase Women
April 5, 2026
An older man went to his doctor with a variety of complaints. After examining him, the doctor said, “Well, you’ve got some problems, all right, but if you’d give up smoking, drinking, and chasing women, I think you’d last a good while longer. “ “But Doc, “answered the man, “I don’t smoke, drink, or chase
Can’t Expect
April 5, 2026
An eighty-year-old man went to his doctor to complain about pain in one knee. The doctor examined it gently and said, “Well, you know that knee is eighty years old. You can’t expect too much. “ “That’s true, “the man agreed; “but Doc, so is the other one and it’s not bothering me like this
Pass Mine Through
April 5, 2026
Three Texas cowboys went to a steakhouse to eat. Each was trying to impress the others. The first man ordered his steak “rare — red rare. “ The second said, “Just pass mine through the flames and singe it a little. I want to see blood dripping out of it. “ Not to be outdone,
Glass Eye
April 5, 2026
Two men are drinking in a bar. One turns to the other and says, “I bet you $100 that I can bite my eye!” The second fellow thinks to himself, I guess he’s had about enough, so he replies, “OK, you’re on. “The first man takes out his glass eye and bites it. So the
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a