Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Long Hair
April 5, 2026
Over a drink in the evening the discussion turned to length of hair… Mr. Jones: “Don’t you think long hair on a man makes him look intellectual?” Mr. Smith: “That depends. My wife found a long hair on my coat sleeve yesterday. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can
Unwanted Photographs
April 5, 2026
A soldier serving overseas far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote to break off their engagement and ask for her photograph back. He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together, and sent them back with a note
Jerk Murphy
April 5, 2026
Murphy was standing in front of the city hall when he saw a driverless car rolling slowly down the street. He ran to the car, jumped in, and pulled on the emergency brake with a jerk. Murphy got out and very proudly said to the man approaching him, “I stopped it!” “I know, you idiot!”
Party Tonight
April 5, 2026
A man and his wife were returning from a party one evening. As the couple was driving home, she asked her husband, “Honey, has anyone ever told you how handsome, sexy, and irresistible to women you are?” Totally flattered, he replied, “No dear, they haven’t. “ At that point she yelled, “Then what the heck
Air Traffic Controller
April 5, 2026
Air traffic controller: “Flight 1234, for noise reduction, turn right 45 degrees. “ Airline pilot: “But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?” Air Traffic controller: “Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 737?” This joke is included in the Black
Sergeant Johnson
April 5, 2026
They were dancing at the service club. He held her tight, his eyes were closed, and they danced as though floating on a cloud. Then the music stopped. “Let’s go out on the porch, “he said. Outside, he took her in her arms and whispered in her shell-like ear, “Darling, I love you so. Say
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a