Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Sex Education Lucy

Sex Education Lucy

April 5, 2026

Government planned to implement Sex Education in schools. School authority wanted to send a teacher called Lucy for a special training course in Sex Education. Lucy: “No Sir. . ! I don’t want to take part in that course. “ Principal:”No. . ! But why . . ?!” Lucy:”Somebody told me yesterday. . The Final

Witness Hesitated

Witness Hesitated

April 5, 2026

A woman was being questioned in a court trial involving slander. “Please repeat the slanderous statements you heard, exactly as you heard them, “instructed the lawyer. The witness hesitated. “But they are unfit for any respectable person to hear, “she protested. “Then, “said the attorney, “just whisper them to the judge. “ This joke is

Idiot John

Idiot John

April 5, 2026

John was asked by his son “Dad, how come I have brown skin and you are white?” “Well just look at your mum, son. “John said. “But she’s not black. “ “I know, you idiot!” John replied, “She’s a fucking whore!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it

Collect Donations

Collect Donations

April 5, 2026

Son: “Dad, there is someone at the door to collect donations for a community swimming pool. “ Father: “Okay, give him a glass of water. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Fifteen Dollars

Fifteen Dollars

April 5, 2026

Two Irishmen are traveling to Australia and before they leave home, one of their dads gives them both a bit of advice: “You watch them Aussie cab drivers. They’ll rob you blind. Don’t you go paying them what they ask. You haggle. “ At the Sydney airport, the Irishmen catch a cab to their hotel.

Genie Responds

Genie Responds

April 5, 2026

While walking along a beach, a man finds a lamp and rubs it off. A genie appears and offers to grant the man one wish. The man replies, “What about three?” The genie retorts “Look pal, I’m in a hurry, I’ve been cooped up in that damn lamp for… “ “OK, alright” the guy responds.

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Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Giorgio Rushes

Giorgio Rushes

April 5, 2026

Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something

Bites Yes

Bites Yes

April 5, 2026

“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of

Trained Parrot

Trained Parrot

April 5, 2026

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a

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