Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
John’s Door
April 5, 2026
Two policemen knocked on John’s door in the evening. They said, “We’ve been getting complaints. “ “You should start doing a better fucking job then. “said John. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Client Let’s
April 5, 2026
A lawyer is settling accounts with his client. “Let’s do it this way, “he says, “Pay me $5000 now and then $400 a month. “ “Gee, “the client says, “I feel like I’m paying for a car. “ Lawyer replies, “You are! And it’s a nice one too. “ This joke is included in the
Bike Home
April 5, 2026
One day little Johnny comes home one day from school and his mom asks him how his day was. He replies, “Mom, today I had sex with the teacher!” Immediately his mother got angry. She said, “Just wait ’till your dad gets home. Hhe’s going to be very mad at you too. Go to your
Jury Box
April 5, 2026
A man who was chosen for jury duty really wanted to be dismissed from serving. He tried every excuse he could think of but none of them worked. On the day of the trial, he decided to give it one more shot. As the trial was about to begin, he asked if he could approach
Johnny Exclaimed Wow
April 5, 2026
Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making a cake and announced, “I’m gonna go play in my room for a couple of hours. I sure would like a piece of cake after though!” Later, when his mother brought him a piece of cake, Little Johnny exclaimed, “Wow! , it worked!” Puzzled, his
Johnson Henderson Threw
April 5, 2026
A bunch of lawyers were sitting around the office playing poker. “I win!” said Johnson. Henderson threw down his cards. “That’s it! I’ve had it! Johnson is cheating! ! !” “How can you tell?” Phillips asked. “Those aren’t the cards I dealt him!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a