Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Gasped Terry
April 5, 2026
Dotty came into the office all aflutter about her husband, “You won’t believe this, Terry, but George takes a fishing- pole into the bathroom and tosses the hook into the tub. “ “You’ve got to be kidding, “gasped Terry. “don’t you think you should take him to a psychiatrist?” “No time, “replied Dotty with a
Nice Restaurant
April 5, 2026
Two mothers met for coffee. “Well Ruthie, how are the kids?” “To tell you the truth, my son has married a real tramp!” says Ruth. “She doesn’t get out of bed until 11. She’s out all day spending his money on Heaven knows what, and when he gets home, exhausted, does she have a nice
Knight Well
April 5, 2026
A knight and his men return to their castle after a long hard day of fighting. “How are we faring?” asks the king. “Sire, “replies the knight, “I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all day, burning the towns of your enemies in the west. “ “What?!” shrieks the king. “I don’t have
Wasn’t Enough Force
April 5, 2026
A father was driving nails while constructing a play house for his children. The youngest boy asked if he could hammer a nail. The father granted his request and showed him how to do it. The boy did as his father had explained and lightly tapped to set the nail before hammering it in but
Granddaughter Both
April 5, 2026
Grandma: “Oh, what nice new boots! Where did you get them?” Granddaughter: “At the store. “ Grandma: “Which one?” Granddaughter: “Both of them. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Computer Scientist Both
April 5, 2026
A physicist, a mathematician and a computer scientist discuss what is better: a wife or a girlfriend. The physicist: “A girlfriend. You still have freedom to experiment. “ The mathematician: “A wife. You have security. “ The computer scientist: “Both. When I’m not with my wife, she thinks I’m with my girlfriend. With my girlfriend
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a