Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Damned Lantern
April 5, 2026
In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, a train smashed into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track. Though no one was killed, the driver took the train company to court. At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern
Cakes Ma’am
April 5, 2026
Baker: “These are the best cakes, ma’am. We have been baking them for years!” Customer: “May I have a cake that was baked today, please?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Leaked Motor Oil
April 5, 2026
After a lady’s car had leaked motor oil on her cement driveway, she bought a large bag of cat litter to soak it up. It worked so well, that she went back to the store to get another bag to finish the job. The clerk remembered her. Looking thoughtfully at her purchase, he said, “Lady,
Audience Nevertheless
April 5, 2026
A public speaker could not believe his eyes when he saw just one man among the audience. Nevertheless, he decided to go ahead with his speech. He asked him the reason for coming to attend his speech. The man replied, “It’s a hot day out there. The air conditioning is pretty good here. “ This
Annual Physical
April 5, 2026
One day, after a man had his annual physical, the doctor came out and said, “You had a great checkup. Is there anything that you’d like to talk about or ask me?” “Well, “he said, “I was thinking about getting a vasectomy. “ “That’s a pretty big decision. Have you talked it over with your
Teeth Ought
April 5, 2026
Mrs. Sharma: “When I die, love, I want to be cremated. “ Mr. Sharma: “That is a good idea, dear. The gold in your teeth ought to pay all the expenses. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a