Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Obvious Huh
April 5, 2026
A woman was having a medical problem – her husband was snoring. She called the doctor one morning, and asked him if there was anything he could do to relieve her “suffering”. “Well, there is one operation I can perform that will cure your husband, but it is really rather expensive. It will cost $1000
Least Twenty Pounds
April 5, 2026
“Doctor!” said the woman as she loudly bounced into the room, “I want you to tell me very frankly what’s wrong with me?” He surveyed her from head to foot. “Madam, “he said at length, “I’ve just three things to tell you. First, you need to lose at least twenty pounds. Second, you should use
Victim Cries
April 5, 2026
Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. “I’ll go into town for a doctor, “the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the only doctor delivering a baby. “I can’t leave, “the doctor says. “But here’s what to do.
License Anymore
April 5, 2026
Craig was sitting on a lawn, sunning and reading, when he was startled by a fairly late model car crashing through a hedge and coming to rest on his lawn. Craig helped the elderly driver out and sat him on a lawn chair. “My goodness, “Craig exclaimed. “You are quite old to be driving!” “Yes,
Store Santa’s Psychiatrist
April 5, 2026
Patient to psychiatrist: “I have this fear of being in tight, enclosed places. “ Psychiatrist: “That’s a very common disorder. Lots of people have the same problem. “ Patient: “It’s a little bit more complicated than that. I have an abnormal fear of being in an elevator with a bunch of department store Santa’s. “
Secret Formula Tablets
April 5, 2026
The police recently arrested a man selling “secret formula” tablets he claimed gave eternal youth. When going through their files they noticed it was the fifth time he was caught for committing this same criminal medical fraud. He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856, 1921 and 1993… This joke is included in the Black
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a