Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Both Talk

Both Talk

April 5, 2026

A ventriloquist had no work for nine months. He went to his agent and told him he needed work badly. The agent said, “There’s no call for ventriloquists, but if you were a psychic I could get you plenty of work. “So this ventriloquist went home and hung outside his door a psychic sign. An

Knight Proclaims

Knight Proclaims

April 5, 2026

Once upon a time, a noble knight and his horse got lost in a dark forest, but a fairy came across. The fairy says: “Dear noble knight, you’re the first one to find me in four hundred years, so as a reward, I’ll grant you three wishes. “ The knight already has a castle, money

Ultimate Computer

Ultimate Computer

April 5, 2026

The Ultimate Computer stood at the end of the Ultimate Computer Company’s production line. At which point the guided tour eventually arrived. The salesman stepped forward to give his prepared demo. “This, “he said, “is the Ultimate Computer. It will give an intelligent answer to any question you may care to ask it. “ A

Teo Visited

Teo Visited

April 5, 2026

Teo visited the birthplace of the man who invented the toothbrush. He was disappointed. There was no plaque. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Enjoys Group Activities

Enjoys Group Activities

April 5, 2026

A bachelor asked the computer to find him the perfect mate: “I want a companion who is small and cute, loves water sports, and enjoys group activities. “ Back came the answer: “Marry a penguin. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Laid Carpet

Laid Carpet

April 5, 2026

A guy was fixing up the floor and laying down carpet in some woman’s home. As he was finishing, he noticed a bump in the carpet and figured that he had laid carpet over a package of nails he used earlier. Rather than to take up the carpet, he decided to get a hammer and

Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Giorgio Rushes

Giorgio Rushes

April 5, 2026

Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something

Bites Yes

Bites Yes

April 5, 2026

“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of

Trained Parrot

Trained Parrot

April 5, 2026

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a

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