Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Last Parachute Since

Last Parachute Since

April 5, 2026

A lawyer, a priest, and a young boy were in a plane that was going to crash, yet they only had 2 parachutes. The lawyer proclaimed that since he was the smartest man on the plane, that he deserved to survive. He took a chute and jumped. The priest looks and the young boy, and

You’ve Taken

You’ve Taken

April 5, 2026

Dick goes into a rough bar and orders a drink. A man sidles up to him and says, ‘I can see you’re a stranger in here.’ ‘Why, yes,’ says Dick. ‘How could you tell?’ The man replies, ‘You’ve taken your hand off your glass.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You

Flight Attendant Brought

Flight Attendant Brought

April 5, 2026

A plane was taking off. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 392, non-stop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight.

Heavy Chain

Heavy Chain

April 5, 2026

A man walks into a bar pulling a heavy chain. The bartender asks the man what he could get him and why the man was pulling that chain around? The man answered “HEY! ! you ever tried pushing one of these things?! !” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can

Chicken Cried Let’s

Chicken Cried Let’s

April 5, 2026

A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala charity event was taking place. Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution. “Great idea!” the chicken cried. “Let’s offer them ham and eggs!” “Not so fast, “said the pig. “For you,

Cab Driver Begins

Cab Driver Begins

April 5, 2026

A man is in Vegas where he lost all of his money so he can’t pay for a cab to return to the airport. He sees a cab and begs the driver to give him a free ride to the airport but the cab driver declines. The next year the man returns to Vegas and

Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Giorgio Rushes

Giorgio Rushes

April 5, 2026

Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something

Bites Yes

Bites Yes

April 5, 2026

“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of

Trained Parrot

Trained Parrot

April 5, 2026

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a

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