Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Last-Minute Gate Change
April 5, 2026
During the ‘rush hour’ at Houston’s Hobby Airport, a flight was delayed due to a mechanical problem. Since they needed the gate for another flight, the aircraft was backed away from the gate while the maintenance crew worked on it. The passengers were then told the new gate number, which was some distance away. Everyone
Spread Eagle Naked
April 5, 2026
Superman is flying around the city, horny as hell. He suddenly sees Wonder Woman spread eagle, naked on top of the building. Superman thinks, “This is my chance!” He swoops down, faster than a speeding bullet bangs her and is gone in the blink of an eye. Wonder Woman sits up and says, “What the
Ran Out of Gas
April 5, 2026
A car mechanic was using an open bowl of gasoline to wash some parts for the transmission he was repairing. Distracted by a customer, the mechanic returned to his work to find his dog, a cocker spaniel drinking the gasoline from the bowl. He yelled at the dog, who took off running. In fact, the
Truck Rolled Down
April 5, 2026
The doc told a guy that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act. The man decided, “What the hell, I’ll try it, “ He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn’t do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was
How Do You Spell Paint? – Shopping Discovers
April 5, 2026
A man is out shopping when he discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. He buys a pack and shows his wife. ‘They’re in three colors,’ he tells her, ‘Gold, silver and bronze.’ ‘So what color are you going to wear tonight?’ she asks. ‘Gold of course,’ replies the man. ‘Why don’t you wear silver?’
Credit Card
April 5, 2026
A man noticed his credit card had been stolen – but he never reported it. The thief was still spending considerably less than his wife. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a