Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Pretty Friend
April 5, 2026
A man at a party: Hi, do you want to dance? Woman: Yeah, sure! Man: Great, go and dance, I want to talk to your pretty friend! This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Heating Up Dinner
April 5, 2026
A man comes home from a hard day of work only to find his wife laying infront of the fire place with her legs wide open. He asked, “Honey what are you doing?” She replied, “I’m heating up your dinner. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it
Officer Approaches
April 5, 2026
A police officer pulls over an elderly female for speeding while driving her husband to a doctor’s appointment. The officer approaches the vehicle and attempts to explain that he stopped her for speeding. She looks at her husband, who is sitting next to her and asks, “What did he say?” The husband replies, “He said
Write with Your Other Hand
April 5, 2026
A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. “Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family – but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!” A smart-ass
Press 9 for an Outside Line
April 5, 2026
A man checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely. He thought, “I’ll call one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you’re calling for a cab. “ He popped into a phone booth near the hotel and found an ad for a girl calling herself Ergonique,
A Bus Stop Transformer
April 5, 2026
Kid to a pregnant girl at bus stop: “What are you expecting?” The girl says, “A bus. “ The kid turns to his friend and says: “Wow! I am 100% sure this chick got screwed by a Transformer!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a