Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Wrong I’ve
April 5, 2026
A guy is walking along the beach, when he sees a woman with no arms and no legs lying on the sand, crying. He walks over to her and asks what’s wrong. “I’ve never been hugged before, “she says. Thinking this is a simple enough request, the man hugs her. She soon starts crying again.
Inches Less
April 5, 2026
A man says to his wife, ‘You know what, two inches more and I’d be king.’ She replies, ‘Two inches less and you’d be queen.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Ice Cream
April 5, 2026
A Husband comes home with a half gallon of Ice Cream. He asked his wife if she wanted some. “How hard is it?” she asked. “About as hard as my dick, “he replies. To which the woman replied, “OK, then pour me some!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can
Three-Course Meal
April 5, 2026
A trucker who has been out on the road for two months stops at a brothel outside Atlanta. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, “I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!” The Madam is astonished. “But sir, for that kind of money you could have one
Exclaimed Major
April 5, 2026
A young , attractive woman thought she might have some fun with a stiff-looking military man at a cocktail party, so she walked over and asked him, “Major, when was the last time you had sex?” “1956, “was his reply. “No wonder you look so uptight!” she exclaimed. “Major, you need to get out more!”
Wasn’t Even Mentioned
April 5, 2026
Coming home after check-up, 45 year old Jenna said to her husband: “The doctor said that my breast is like a 20 year old girl’ breast. “ Husband replied: “Did he say something about your 45 year old hanging to the floor ass?” “No”, she said. “Your name wasn’t even mentioned. “ This joke is
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a