Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Park Bench
April 5, 2026
A drunk is sitting on a park bench staring disconsolately at a bottle of beer. A man passes and asks him what the matter is. “I don’t know what to do, “says the drunk. “My heart says yes, my mind says no, and I haven’t heard from my liver in two days. “ This joke
Friend Advises
April 5, 2026
Things have reached a crisis point in Sophie’s marriage. “If things are so bad, “her friend advises her. “Then you should leave your husband. “ “I would, “says Sophie. “If only I could think of a way of doing it that wouldn’t make him happy. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of
Total Bullshit Dan
April 5, 2026
Dan was walking down the street with his wife earlier when she accused him of being ashamed to be seen with her. “That’s total bullshit. “Dan replied. By text, from across the road. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Potato Trunks Impress
April 5, 2026
Boy comes up to his father, all angry, “Dad, you remember how you told me to put a potato in my swimming trunks? How did you say it would impress the girls?” Father looks up, smiling, “Yeah, did it work?” The boy screams, “You could have mentioned that the potato goes in the front!” This
Invisible Appointment Secretary
April 5, 2026
Secretary: “Doctor, the invisible man has come. He says he has an appointment. “ Doctor: “Tell him I can’t see him. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Happy You’ll
April 5, 2026
A regular customer walks into the bar and says, “Bartender, one round for everyone, on me!” The bartender says, “Well, it seems you’re in a really good mood tonight. “ The man replies, “I sure am! Yesterday I was hired by the city to go around and collect money from the parking meters!” The bartender
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a