Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Stated Isn’t

Stated Isn’t

April 5, 2026

Walking into a lawyers office, a man asked what his rates were. “Two hundred dollars for three questions, “the lawyer stated. “Isn’t that awfully expensive?” the man asked?” “Yes, “replied the lawyer. “What’s your third question?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Driver Pointed

Driver Pointed

April 5, 2026

An old woman wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy. The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, “Sit with my wife. You two have a lot

Coola Down Lady

Coola Down Lady

April 5, 2026

Two Italian men get on a bus… They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: “Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two

Dreadful Fight Calm

Dreadful Fight Calm

April 5, 2026

Three weeks after her wedding day, Ava called the vicar who had married her. “Reverend, “she wailed, “Chris and I have had a dreadful fight!” “Calm down, my child, “said the Reverend, “it’s not half as bad as you think it is. Every marriage has to have its first fight!” “I know, I know!” said

Hours Later

Hours Later

April 5, 2026

A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, and they make love. About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, “Honey,you know I

Deaf Men

Deaf Men

April 5, 2026

Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One signs to the other, “Boy was my wife mad at me last night! She went on and on and wouldn’t stop!” The other Buddy says “When my wife goes off on me I just don’t listen. “ “How do you do that?” Says

Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Giorgio Rushes

Giorgio Rushes

April 5, 2026

Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something

Bites Yes

Bites Yes

April 5, 2026

“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of

Trained Parrot

Trained Parrot

April 5, 2026

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a

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