Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Christmas Tree
April 5, 2026
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice,
Felix Essay Pen
April 5, 2026
A father came home from work one night to find his little boy sitting on the cat, with a pen and paper in his hand. “Why are you sitting on Felix?” he asked. “Well, the teacher told us to write an essay on the family pet. “ This joke is included in the Black Book
Maria the Robot
April 5, 2026
Peter: “Your secretary is very sexy… “ Tony: “Thanks! It’s a robot actually, named ‘Maria’. If you squeeze her right boob, she takes dictation & if you squeeze her left boob, she types letters! I’ll Lend it to you for a day & you can see her functions… “ Next day Peter called Tony from
Bus Conductor
April 5, 2026
“Why does your husband always call you his Fair Lady when you’re a brunet?” “He is a bus conductor”. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
The Second Opinion
April 5, 2026
A patient has a sore throat and goes to a doctor to get treatment. Doctor: “Your tonsils have to come out. “ Patient: “I want a second opinion. “ Doctor: “Okay, you’re ugly, too. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Room 5421
April 5, 2026
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both startled and he says, “Ma’am, if your heart is as
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a