Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Offered Apologies
April 5, 2026
Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other, “Boy, business sucks. If I don’t sell more cars this month, I’m going to lose my f**king ass!” Too late — he noticed a beautiful blonde, sitting two stools away. Immediately, he offered apologies for his use of bad language. “That’s okay,
Staring Spider Fallen
April 5, 2026
A husband and wife are sitting on the couch watching TV. The wife looks at the husband and he is staring at the ceiling above her head, she looks up and asks, “What are you staring at?” “A spider, “he replies. “I don’t see anything, “she says. “Oh, it must have fallen on your head,
Long I’d Hate
April 5, 2026
Mr. Johnson had been waiting entirely too long at the doctor’s office. His appointment was for 9:30 and it was nearly 12:00. Finally, an attractive nurse appeared at the waiting room door and said, “Let’s go get a room. “ “Honey, I appreciate the offer, “he said, “But I’ve been waiting so long I’d hate
Social Networks
April 5, 2026
A man walks into his doctor’s office and says, “Doctor, I think I’m addicted to the social networks. “ The doctor looks at him and says, “Sorry, I don’t follow you. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Hallway Light
April 5, 2026
Wife: “Let’s go out and have some fun tonight. “ Husband: “Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Rabbit Eat Vegetables
April 5, 2026
The judge: “Why did you shoot the rabbit without being a member of the hunters association?” The inculpated: “Why did the rabbit eat vegetables from my garden, without being a family member?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a