Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Butcher Takes

Butcher Takes

April 5, 2026

It’s the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door. “Please let me in, “says the man desperately. “I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don’t come home with one. “ “Okay, “says the butcher, “let me

Professor Commented

Professor Commented

April 5, 2026

A college professor in an anatomy class asked his students to sketch a naked man. As the professor walked around the class checking the sketches, he noticed that a sexy young coed had sketched a man with an erect penis. The professor commented, “Oh, no, I wanted it the other way. “ She replied, “What

Accused Hahahaha Judge

Accused Hahahaha Judge

April 5, 2026

Judge: “Silence in court! The next person who laughs again will be thrown out of court. “ Accused: “Hahahaha!” Judge: “I wasn’t talking to you!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Fellow Sunbather Interrupted

Fellow Sunbather Interrupted

April 5, 2026

An elderly, wealthy woman was on the beach and boring fellow beachcombers as she bragged on and on about her two remarkable grandchildren. Unable to stand it any longer, a fellow sunbather interrupted her. “Tell me, how old are your grandsons?” The grandmother gave a grateful smile and replied, “The doctor is four and the

Foot Screams

Foot Screams

April 5, 2026

An extremely drunk man looking for a whorehouse stumbles into a Podiatrist’s office instead and weaves over to the receptionist. Without looking up, she waves him over to the examination bed and says, “Stick it through that curtain. “ Looking forward to something kinky, the drunk pulls out his penis and sticks it through the

Whole Truth – Seem Some

Whole Truth – Seem Some

April 5, 2026

“You seem to be in some distress, “said the kindly judge to the witness. “Is anything the matter?’ “Well, your Honor, “said the witness, “I swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but every time I try, some lawyer objects. “ This joke is included in the Black Book

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Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Giorgio Rushes

Giorgio Rushes

April 5, 2026

Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something

Bites Yes

Bites Yes

April 5, 2026

“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of

Trained Parrot

Trained Parrot

April 5, 2026

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a

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