Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
You’d Fallen Down
April 5, 2026
A middle-aged woman reads that vaginas get wider and deeper with age. So she tries to check her own by stripping off, putting a mirror on the floor and spreading her legs over it. Suddenly, her husband comes in and grabs her arm, violently pulling her away from where the mirror is laying. “You could
Massive Yes
April 5, 2026
A husband and wife are cooing over their new born baby. “Look at the size of his willie, “says the man. “It’s massive!” “Yes dear, “says the woman. “But at least he’s got your ears. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Ben Yes
April 5, 2026
A secretary has been to London with her boss. When she returns to the office one of her colleagues asks her if the boss has shown her Big Ben. “Yes, already on the boat. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Calendar Behind
April 5, 2026
A man was giving a speech at his lodge meeting. He got a bit carried away and talked for two hours. Finally, he realized what he had done and said, “I’m sorry I talked so long. I left my watch at home. “ A voice from the back of the room replied, “There’s a calendar
Answered Mike Excellent
April 5, 2026
There was a gorgeous brunette at the bar Mike went to one time. He dragged up his courage, walked over to her, and in his most suave voice said, “Hey, sexy girl, can I buy you a drink?” She diverted her gaze towards him. Gorgeous blue eyes,beautiful ruby-red lips and breasts to die for. She
Fat Cow’s
April 5, 2026
“I love you loads, honey pie. “Tom’s wife said earlier. “And I love you tons. “Tom replied. “What, no nickname for me?” She asked, disappointed. Sometimes Tom had the impression the fat cow’s going deaf. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a