Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Battery Acid
April 5, 2026
A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife. “You just won’t believe what happened this evening, in all my years on the force I’ve never seen anything like it. “ “Oh yes dear, what happened?” “I came across two guys down by the canal,
Relieve Worrying
April 5, 2026
Doctor to woman: “What is the matter about your husband?” Woman: “He is worrying about MONEY. “ Doctor: “I think I can relieve him of that. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Dog Perform
April 5, 2026
A man walks into a bar with his dog and orders two glasses of whiskey. He proposes a toast and both he and his dog empty their glasses. The girl behind the bar is surprised and asks: ‘Can your dog perform other tricks?’. ‘But of course’, the man answers, ‘he can even gratify a woman’.
Goods Store
April 5, 2026
A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. “It’s for my husband, “she tells the clerk. “Did he tell you what gauge to get?” asked the clerk. “Are you kidding?” she says. “He doesn`t even know that I`m going to shoot him!” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Couldn’t Bend
April 5, 2026
Two old drunks in a bar. The first one says, “Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn’t bend it with either of my hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard. “By the time I was 50, I could
He’d Climb
April 5, 2026
“Oh, I sure am glad to see you, “the little boy said to his grandmother on his mother’s side. “Now Daddy will do the trick he’s been promising us. “ The grandmother was curious. “What trick is that?” she asked. “He told Mommy that he’d climb the walls if you came to visit, “answered the
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a