Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Diner Watch

Diner Watch

April 5, 2026

Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup! Waiter: Don’t worry, Sir, it’s not that hot! This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

False Testimony Yes

False Testimony Yes

April 5, 2026

In the High Court: “Do you know what you get for false testimony?” “Yes, they promised me a Mercedes… “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Englishman Irishman

Englishman Irishman

April 5, 2026

An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotch man are sitting in a pub full of people. The Englishman says, “The pubs in England are the best. You can buy one drink and get a second one free”. Everyone in the pub agreed and gave a big cheer. The Scottish man says, “. . yeah. That’s quite

Terrible News

Terrible News

April 5, 2026

George had responded to a call from his attorney, insisting that they meet at once. He arrived at his lawyer’s firm, and was ushered into his office. “Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?” the lawyer asked. “Well, if those are my choices, I guess I’ll take the bad news first.

Weren’t Wouldn’t Exploded

Weren’t Wouldn’t Exploded

April 5, 2026

A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, “If it weren’t for my money, the house wouldn’t be here!” The wife replied, “My dear, if it weren’t for your money I wouldn’t be here. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from

Politician Interrupted Well

Politician Interrupted Well

April 5, 2026

A politician went to see the doctor to get the results of his brain scan. The doctor said: “Sir, I have some bad news for you. First, we have discovered that your brain has two sides: the left side and the right side. “ The politician interrupted, “Well, that’s normal, isn’t it? I thought everybody

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Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Giorgio Rushes

Giorgio Rushes

April 5, 2026

Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something

Bites Yes

Bites Yes

April 5, 2026

“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of

Trained Parrot

Trained Parrot

April 5, 2026

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a

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