Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Officer Arrives
April 5, 2026
A police officer arrives at the scene of an accident to find a car smashed into a tree. The officer rushes over to the vehicle and asks the driver, “Are you seriously hurt?” “How should I know?” the driver responds. “I’m not a lawyer!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You
Senior Partner
April 5, 2026
A young lawyer, defending a businessman in a lawsuit, feared he was losing the case and asked his senior partner if he should send a box of cigars to the judge to curry favor. The senior partner was horrified. “The judge is an honorable man, “he said, “If you do that, I guarantee you’ll lose
Boats Backwards Murphy
April 5, 2026
Paddy asks Murphy, ‘Why do scuba divers fall off their boats backwards?” Murphy replies, “If they fell forwards they’d still be on the fucking boat!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Discovered Evidence Judge
April 5, 2026
Lawyer: “Your Honor, I wish to appeal my client’s case on the basis of newly discovered evidence. “Judge: “And what is the nature of the new evidence?” Lawyer: “I have discovered that my client still has money. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Shop Assistant
April 5, 2026
Shop assistant: How about this one? Psychic: That shirt is too small. Shop assistant: You didn’t even try it on? Psychic: I’m a medium. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Fourth Nun Skips
April 5, 2026
Four nuns are in line to go into heaven. God asks the first nun if she has ever sinned. She says, “Well, I’ve seen a penis. “So God puts holy water on her eyes and lets her enter. He asks the second nun the same thing and she says, “I’ve held a penis, “so he
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a