Jokes Ltd 
A man came home, screeching his car into the driveway, and ran into the house. He slammed the door and shouted excitedly, “Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!” The wife said, “Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?” “Doesn’t matter, “he said, “just as long as you’re out … Read more
Wife to husband: “My mother says I should never have married you. She says you’re effeminate. “ Husband: “Compared to her everyone is. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A young bride and groom-to-be had just selected the wedding ring. As the girl admired the plain platinum and diamond band, she suddenly looked concerned. “Tell me, “she asked the elderly salesman “is there anything special I’ll have to do to take care of this ring?” With a fatherly smile, the salesman said, “One of … Read more
The father of a four-year old girl is trying to explain to her what a marriage is. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, he decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help. One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the … Read more
A guy goes into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a $100 bill on his penis. Curious, the tattoo artist asks him why he would possibly want that. “Three reasons: I like to play with my money, I like to watch my money grow, and a hundred dollars seems to be the … Read more
Wife comes back from the doctor and says to her husband: “Honey, I have sad news – a gynecologist told me not to have sex for three weeks… “ Husband: “And what the dentist said?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep. “Excuse me for disturbing you, ma’am, “he said politely, “but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I’ve noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with … Read more
One night a man walks into a bar looking sad. The bartender asks the man what he wants. The man says “Oh just a beer”. The bartender asked the man “What’s wrong,why are you so down today?”. The man said “My wife and I got into a fight,and she said she wouldn’t talk to me … Read more
Little Johnny asks, “Mommy, where do babies come from?” His mother replies, “The stork brings them. “ Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, “Then who fucks the stork?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A wife goes on a retreat for work. When she returns, she finds a pair of panties in her dresser that do not belong to her. Furious, she questions her husband. The husband says, “I have no idea where they came from, I don’t do the laundry!” So, the wife goes to the maid and … Read more