Jokes Ltd

Pounds Paddy

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Zoo keeper says to Paddy, “The gorilla is on heat and we need someone to have sex with it. Would you consider shagging it for 500 pounds?”. Paddy replies, “I will on 3 conditions: First, I’m not going to kiss it. Second – my family must never know. The third one – I’ll need a … Read more

Love Wads

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A man says to his wife, “I fancy kinky sex, how about I blow my load in your ear?” The wife hastily replies, “No, I might go deaf!” The man replies, “I’ve been shooting my love wads in your mouth for the last 20 years and you’re still fucking talking aren’t you? This joke is … Read more

Sucks Charlie’s Cock

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Camilla goes to the doctors and says “Doctor, whenever one sucks Charlie’s cock one gets a heartburn. “ The doctor says “Have you tried Andrew’s?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Bread Roll

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Jake went to the doctor and told him he was having a problem, as he was unable to get his manhood erect. The doctor checked him out then told him that the muscles around the base of the organ were damaged and there was nothing he could do for him. However, he knew of an … Read more

Singles Bar

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A five-dollar bill walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey. This is a singles bar. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Partition Installed

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A prostitute with a single room decided she would get a partition installed so she could entertain 2 clients at once. A builder knocked up the partition in no time, and after he’d finished, he asked for his money. The girl explained that she didn’t have it, but that she could pay for the job … Read more

He’s Lost

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A small boy goes up to a man in the street and asks him if he’s lost £5. The man checks his pockets and says, ‘Well, yes. I think I have lost a £5 note. Have you found one?’ The boy replies, ‘No. I just wanted to see how many people had lost a £5 … Read more

I’ve Read

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A single Chinese man owns a Chinese restaurant, and one day a beautiful Chinese woman walks in. He immediately walks over and asks her out on a date. She agrees. They go out for a while, and soon, the man proposes to her. She says “Yes, but before we do, there`s something you must know. … Read more

Stranger Hey Shouted

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Peter walked in from work one day and his wife was sitting on the sofa with his girlfriend. While trying not to look surprised he said, “What’s going on?” “You tell me?” replied his wife. Pete said, “I don’t know, you’re sitting on the sofa with a stranger. “ “A stranger, hey?” shouted his girlfriend, … Read more

Likes Missionary

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When it comes to sex, Dave and his wife like completely different things. Dave’s wife likes missionary and doggy positions, while Dave likes his receptionist. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.