Jokes Ltd A kid was a very good painter. Once a neighbor broke her nails while trying to pick-up a $100 bill lying on the ground because it looked so real. She called the kid’s father and complained about the kid. The father said, “That’s nothing. My son drew a switch on the power socket yesterday and … Read more
Two lawyers were walking along, negotiating a case. “Look, “said one to the other, “let’s be honest with each other. “ “Okay, you first, “replied the other. That was the end of the discussion. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A small boy turned to his aunt Michelle and said, “Wow, you’re not pretty!” His mother overheard the remark and was appalled. She took him aside and gave him a real telling-off before ordering him to go back out to say sorry to Aunt Michelle. Suitably chastened, the boy went over and said quietly, “Aunt … Read more
An elephant drinking from a stream spots a tortoise lounging on the shore. He grabs it with his trunk and flings it into the jungle. A passing zebra asks, “Why did you do that?” … … “Forty years ago that very tortoise nipped my tail just for fun, “the elephant said. “Wow, forty years ago! … Read more
A man was arraigned for assault and battery and brought before the judge. Judge: “What is your name, occupation, and what are you charged with?” Prisoner: “My name is Sparky, I am an electrician and I’m charged with battery. “ Judge: “Officer, put this guy in a dry cell. “ This joke is included in … Read more
Daughter: “Mommy, where did I come from?” Mom: “Sweetheart, you came out from Mommy’s body. “ Daughter: “How exactly?” Mom: “Well, your head came out first, then your arms, followed by your legs. “ Daughter: “How did you assemble them?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more
Taylor was desperate for business, and was happy to be appointed by the court to defend an indigent defendant. The judge ordered Taylor, “You are to confer with the defendant in the hallway, and give him the best legal advice you can. “ After a time, Taylor re-entered the courtroom alone. When the judge asked … Read more
Six-year-old Annie returns home from school and says that today she had her first embarrassing moment at school. Her mother, very interested, asks, “Oh, how did it go?” “I nearly died of shame!” she answers. “Sam from down the street says the stork brings babies. Sally next door said you can buy babies at the … Read more
A lawyer was talking to his teenage son about his future career. “Why do you want to be a doctor instead of a lawyer?” he asked. “What’s wrong with lawyers?” “Well, Dad, “explained the boy, “I really want to help people. And when was the last time you heard anybody stand up in a crowd … Read more
A man hired a lawyer when he got sued by his company for the embezzlement of many millions. At the beginning of the process, the lawyer kindly reassured him, “Don’t worry, you’ll never go to jail with that amount of money. “ And the lawyer was right. When the man did go to jail eventually, … Read more