Jokes Ltd Little Johnny: “That knife-throwing act was terrible. I want my money back. “ Carnival Owner:” What was the matter with it?” Little Johnny: “Call that a knife thrower? He got ten chances and he didn’t even hit that girl once!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more
A man went to his lawyer and asked him, “My neighbor owes me $500 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?” “Do you have any proof he owes you the money?” asked the lawyer. “Nope, “replied the man. “Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $5,000 he owes you, “said … Read more
A pipe burst in a lawyer’s house, so he called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the lawyer a bill for $150. The lawyer exclaimed, “This is ridiculous! I don’t even make that much as a lawyer!” The plumber replied sympathetically, “Neither did I … Read more
Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time and she asked, “My name begins with the letter ‘M’ and I pick up things. What am I?” A little … Read more
A kindhearted judge was commiserating with the wife. “Your husband really has a problem. Has he ever tried Alcoholics Anonymous?” “I’m sure he has, “she nodded sadly. “That man will drink anything. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man is on trial for stealing an overcoat. The judge went straight to the point. “Did you steal this man’s overcoat?” he demanded. “No sir, “the defendant replied, with a grin. “I was just playing a joke on him. “ “And where did you take the coat?” asked the judge. “I removed it from … Read more
A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She claimed that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined. After the trial he asked the judge, “This means that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?” The judge said that was true. “Does this mean I cannot … Read more
The judge asked the defendant to please stand. “You are charged with cutting down a tree without having permission to do so, using a chainsaw. “ From out in the gallery, a woman shouts, “Lying miser!” “Silence in the court!” the Judge says. He turns to the defendant and says, “You are also charged with … Read more
A little girl is in the kitchen watching her mother prepare for the following day’s Christmas dinner. She asks, “Mommy, can I please have a cat for Christmas?” Her mommy replies, “No honey, you’ll have turkey just like the rest of us. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can … Read more
Two men were in a forest, when a lion came roaring towards them. One of them throws sand into the lion’s eyes and then runs. The second man stays, unmoved. The first man looks back and shouts, “Why are you not running?” The second man replies, “Why should I be running? You’re the one who … Read more