Jokes Ltd

Obesity Afraid Yes

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Doctor: “I’m afraid you suffer from obesity. “ Patient: “Yes, it runs in the family. “ Doctor: “No, nothing runs in your family. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Heavy Sandbag Fell

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A burglar, needing money to pay his income taxes, decided to rob the safe in a store. On the safe door he was very pleased to find a note reading: “Please don’t use dynamite. The safe is not locked. Just turn the knob. “ He did so. Instantly a heavy sandbag fell on him, the … Read more

Scary Woodland

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Two hitmen are walking together deep into a scary woodland. The first hitman says, “I don’t mind admitting I feel a little afraid!” The second hitman replies, “How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

High Rise

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Patient: I was born C-Section and every time I leave my house I constantly fight the urge to go out the window. Doctor: On a scale of one to ten how bad is this problem? Patient: I’d have to say a ten considering I live on the 88th floor of a high rise. This joke … Read more

Team Laughed Except

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At a meeting, the corporate manager told a joke. Everyone on the team laughed except one guy. The manager asked him, “Didn’t you understand my joke?” The guy replied, “Oh I understood it, but I resigned yesterday. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Deep Depression

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A guy is walking down the street with his friend. He says to his friend, “I’m a walking economy. “ His friend replies, “How’s that?” “It’s like this, my hairline is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and the combination of these factors is putting me into a deep depression. “ This … Read more

Pub Talk Okay

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A drunk asked a barman, “Who did you vote for in the last election?” “None of your business, “the barman answered, “And besides, you never talk politics in a pub. “ “Okay, “said the drunk. “What church do you go to?” “None of your business, “the barman answered, “And besides, you never talk about religion … Read more

Mad Cow Disease

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There were two cows standing in the field, one cow says to the other: “boy that mad cow disease has got me worried” the other cow says I’m not worried, I’m a penguin” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Laid Carpet

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A guy was fixing up the floor and laying down carpet in some woman’s home. As he was finishing, he noticed a bump in the carpet and figured that he had laid carpet over a package of nails he used earlier. Rather than to take up the carpet, he decided to get a hammer and … Read more

Home Country Roads

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A guy sees a classified ad that says “I will give you a blowjob while singing ‘Take me Home Country Roads at the same time’. “ The guy thinks to himself that it sounds interesting and unbelievable, and so decides to pay her a visit. She lets him in and says that the lights have … Read more