Jokes Ltd An American was despairingly lost in the Highlands and wandered about for nearly a week. Finally, on the seventh day he met a kilted inhabitant. “Thank heaven I’ve met someone, “he cried. “I’ve been lost for the last week. “ “Is there a reward out for you?” asked the Scotsman. “No, “said the American. “Then … Read more
The woman was in bed with her lover and had just told him how stupid her husband was when the door was thrown open and there stood her husband. He glared at her lover and bellowed, “What are you doing?” “There, “said the wife, “didn’t I tell you he was stupid?” This joke is included … Read more
Guy goes to a doctor and says he has a problem with sex. “I think my privates are too small. “he says. The doctor asks him which drink he prefers. “Well, Lager, “he replies, quite bemused. “Ah. There’s your problem. It shrinks things, those Lagers. You should try drinking Guinness. That makes things grow. “ … Read more
It’s Mike’s first day on the job as a bartender. As he serves a customer a Manhattan, a piece of parsley falls into the drink. “What the hell is that?” the customer asks. “It’s your Manhattan. And there’s Central Park. “he replied. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order … Read more
A zookeeper is ordering new animals. As he fills out the forms, he types “two mongeese”. That doesn’t look quite right, so he tries two mongoose, and then two mongooses. Giving up, he types, “One mongoose, and while you’re at it, send another one. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. … Read more
A giraffe walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Mug or long neck?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A husband and wife went to visit a ranch while in Texas. The cowboy preparing the horses asked the woman if she wanted a Western or English saddle, and she asked him what the difference was. The cowboy told her that one had a horn and one didn’t. “Well, “she replied, “the saddle without the … Read more
Two drunks were staggering home along a railway line. “This is the longest staircase I’ve ever climbed, moaned one. “It certainly is, “slurred his body. “And the banister’s so low; my back’s killing me. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Freddie wanted to have sex with a girl in his office. But she belonged to someone else… One day, Freddie got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, “I’ll give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you. “ But the girl said, “NO. “ Freddie said, “I’ll be … Read more
A young guy at a bar: “Hey, bartender. Pour me a cold one. “ “Hey, go on, kid, you wanna get me in trouble?” “Maybe later. Right now I just wanna have a beer. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.