Jokes Ltd Two Scientists were working late discussing ideas about behavior modification studies. “We’ve started something new at my lab, “said the first scientist. “For some of our more dangerous experiments, we’re now using lawyers”. “Lawyers?” asks the second scientist. “Why aren’t you using rats?” “Well you know how it is, “the first scientist replies. “You can … Read more
Patient: Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a dog. Doctor: Lie down on the couch and I’ll examine you. Patient: I can’t, I’m not allowed on the furniture. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man walks into a bar and says “I just got back from the battered women’s shelter, and boy are my arms tired. “ Everyone laughed. The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter’s pantry, regardless … Read more
A bus conductor asks a drunk for his ticket. He goes through all his pockets but can’t find it. ‘It’s okay,’ says the conductor. ‘I’m sure you paid.’ ‘Never mind that,’ says the drunk. ‘If I can’t find it, how am I supposed to know where I’m going?’ This joke is included in the Black … Read more
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. “Well, “said the Director, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty … Read more
Sam had proposed to young Lisa and was being interviewed by his prospective father-in-law. “Do you think you are earning enough to support a family?” the older man asked the suitor. “Yes, sir, “replied Sam, “I am. “ “Well, “said Lisa’s father, “think carefully now. There are six of us. “ This joke is included … Read more
Quasimodo, the demented bell ringer of Notre Dame, put an ad in the papers for a assistant bell ringer. One man applied for the job but he had no arms. “How are you going to assist me?” asked Quasimodo. “That’s easy!” replied the man and he ran at the bell and banged it with his … Read more
After surgery, the doctor said to the patient, “I am sorry, but I forgot a pair of scissors inside you. I need to… “ The patient quickly responded, “Oh don’t bother, doctor! If it is because of that, just tell me how much it cost and I will pay you back. “ This joke is … Read more
“Doc, every time after sex I hear a whistle. “ “What’s your age?” “70. “ “You know, this is very natural. It would be strange if you heard applause… “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.