A woman shipped an expensive gift to her best friend. A few days later her best friend replied with a thank you card but forgot to write something on the inside. When her friend brought this to her attention, to escape embarrassment she said, “When I saw how much you spent on that gift… I … Read more
Store owner: “Thank you for your patronage. I wish I had twenty customers like you. “ Customer: “Gosh, it’s nice to hear that, but I’m kind of surprised. You know that I argue every bill and always pay late. “ Store owner: “I’d still like twenty customers like you. The problem is, I have two … Read more
A Sign posted in a repair shop : Hourly rate: $100 Hourly rate if you sit and watch: $125 Hourly rate if you sit, watch, and comment: $150 Hourly rate if you sit, watch, comment, and “help”: $200 This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man came back to the dealer from whom he bought a new car. “I believe you gave me a guarantee with my car, “he said. “That’s right, sir, “the salesman answered. “We will replace anything that breaks. “ “Fine, I need a new garage door. “ This joke is included in the Black Book … Read more
A zookeeper is ordering new animals. As he fills out the forms, he types “two mongeese”. That doesn’t look quite right, so he tries two mongoose, and then two mongooses. Giving up, he types, “One mongoose, and while you’re at it, send another one. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. … Read more
Two drunks were staggering home along a railway line. “This is the longest staircase I’ve ever climbed, moaned one. “It certainly is, “slurred his body. “And the banister’s so low; my back’s killing me. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Two snakes are talking. One of them turns to the other and asks, “Are we venomous?” The other replies, “Yes,why?… “ “I just bit my lip. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Man: “How do you like your eggs in the morning?” Woman: “Unfertilized. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man and woman are lying in bed after a disappointing bout of sex. ‘You’ve got a very small organ,’ says the woman. The man replies, ‘Well I didn’t know I’d be playing in the Albert Hall.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Indian. “What is it made of?” she asked. “Alligator teeth, “the Indian replied. “I suppose, “she said patronizingly, “that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us. “ “Oh no, “the Indian objected. “Anybody can open an oyster. “ This joke is … Read more