A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver felt so awful, he began to cry. A woman driving down the highway saw the … Read more
A guy is walking down the street with his friend. He says to his friend, “I’m a walking economy. “ His friend replies, “How’s that?” “It’s like this, my hairline is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and the combination of these factors is putting me into a deep depression. “ This … Read more
A sign on the wall for the economic use of the company’s copy machine, “Copy & Print in Black & White only, please!” Someone crossed off the word “Black” later on. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Michelle recently got a catalog from a company she wasn’t familiar with. Not wanting to be cheated she sent them a letter saying, “With all the fraud and misrepresentation I don’t know who to trust. Send me the merchandise and if it’s any good I’ll send you a check. “ A week later Michelle got … Read more
A male crab and a female lobster are dating, but they are hiding it from their parents for obvious reasons. Eventually the lobster gets tired of all the secrecy and she tells her father, who is furious and forbids her to see the crab again. “But why can’t I see the crab again? We’re in … Read more
“Come on now, a child of five could understand this!” “I’ll tell you what, why don’t you go fetch me a child of five!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A woman shipped an expensive gift to her best friend. A few days later her best friend replied with a thank you card but forgot to write something on the inside. When her friend brought this to her attention, to escape embarrassment she said, “When I saw how much you spent on that gift… I … Read more
Erica is walking out of a movie theater at the same time as a man with a parrot on his shoulder. Erica turns to the man and says, “Your parrot actually seemed to understand the movie. It looked around during the boring parts, it paid close attention to the dramatic parts, it even squawked during … Read more
Store owner: “Thank you for your patronage. I wish I had twenty customers like you. “ Customer: “Gosh, it’s nice to hear that, but I’m kind of surprised. You know that I argue every bill and always pay late. “ Store owner: “I’d still like twenty customers like you. The problem is, I have two … Read more
A lady walks into a bar and sees a really cute guy sitting at the counter. She goes over and asks him what he is drinking. “Magic Beer”, he says. She thinks he’s a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but after that there is no one else worth talking to,goes back to … Read more