Browse a highly curated database of jokes designed to optimize your daily dopamine metrics. From efficient dad jokes to complex narrative punchlines, these text assets are guaranteed to lower your productivity, increase your morale, and provide a measurable return on engagement.
In a terrible car accident, 3 nuns die at the same time. They all appear in front of the gates of Heaven to meet Saint Peter. When they arrive, Peter informs them that those who lived a life of the cloth must answer some basic questions about theology before they are permitted to enter Heaven. … Read more
Monica is at the dentist. Half of her mouth is locked due to anesthesia, the dentist is intensively working. Monica’s mobile phone starts ringing. Ignoring it four times, the dentist finally answers the phone pissed: “What’s up?” “What’s up?”, – some man asks. Dentist:”Who are you?” “I’m Monica’s husband”says the guy on the other side. … Read more
Mom was very upset when she found a bondage S&M magazine in her son’s room. She showed it to her husband when he got home. He handed it back to her without a word. She asked him, “Well, what do we do about this?” “Well, whatever you do, don’t spank him. “ This joke is … Read more
Gravely ill, a man was examined by a doctor while his wife stood by. After the examination the physician motioned for her to meet him in the hallway. “Your husband is very sick, “the doctor said. “but, you can do three things to ensure his survival: First, fix him to eat three healthy meals a … Read more
A man is riding aimlessly through the desert on a donkey. He is not hungry or thirsty, because he has a bottomless bowl of fruit. He wanders for about a week and eventually gets pretty horny. He gets to the point where he can’t stand it anymore. So he decides to try and have sex … Read more
Ben asks his new girlfriend for a hand job. “I’ve never done that” she says, “What do I do ?” “Well” replies Ben, “Do you remember when you were a kid and you’d shake a coke bottle and spray your brother with it … That’s what you do. “ She nods, so he pulls his … Read more
A man walks into his office box on a Monday morning. He checks his e-mails and sees one from his neighbor. it reads, “Do you have any naked photos of your wife?” Outraged the man replies, “No, I do Not!” Shortly after he receives a second e-mail from his neighbor. Expecting an apology he opens … Read more
A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions. “ He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, “What is your occupation?” The woman replies, “I’m a whore. “ The … Read more
“A man is at the optometrist getting his eyes checked. “You need to stop masturbating so much, “the optometrist says. “Why?” asks the man. “Is it going to make me go blind?” The optometrist looks around and says “No, but it’s making the other patients very uncomfortable. “ This joke is included in the Black … Read more
One day a tiny Apache indian child walked into Big Chief Sitting Bull’s Teepee. “Sitting Bull, “He asked, “Why does every man in our tribe have such long, complicated names?” “Well, “says Sitting Bull, “Its simple. the night before the mother gives birth, the father goes into the woods and camps for the night. When … Read more