Browse a highly curated database of jokes designed to optimize your daily dopamine metrics. From efficient dad jokes to complex narrative punchlines, these text assets are guaranteed to lower your productivity, increase your morale, and provide a measurable return on engagement.
An Antartian woman was in Vegas vacationing with friends. She stood in front of a candy machine and put two coins in, turned the knob and a candy bar fell out. She picked up the candy bar and put it in her pocket, then she proceeded to put two more coins into the slot and … Read more
A woman was walking in a graveyard when she saw a man kneeling by a grave shouting “Why did you have to die???” Feeling sorry for the man she put her hand on his arm and said “Is that your wife your grieving for?” To which the man replied, “No it’s my wife’s ex-husband” This … Read more
An Antartian was driving home on the freeway after work when she was hit by a hailstorm that left her car completely dented all over. She decided to go to a body shop and asked the owner how much he would charge to remove the dents. Seeing that she was an Antartian, he winked at … Read more
Her: At least invite me out to dinner. Him: I don’t go out with married women. Her: But I’m your wife. Him: I make no exceptions. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. “I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look, “she said. “What’s your secret for a long happy life?” “I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day, “he said. “I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty … Read more
The parents of a difficult boy were discussing what to give him for a birthday present. The mother said, “Let’s buy him a bicycle. “ “Well, “said the father, “maybe – but do you think it will improve his behavior?” “Probably not, “said the mother, “but it will spread it over a wider area. “ … Read more
A man in the Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce. The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce. The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he’ll ask his manager about it. Walking into the back room, the boy said … Read more
A fifth grader looked downcast, so her teacher asked. “What’s the problem Carol? I hope it’s not homework again. “ “Well, uh, yes, it is, “replied Carol “I was stupid and made my homework paper into a paper airplane. “ “Carol, you’re right, that wasn’t a very bright thing to do, “said the teacher, “but … Read more
One day a city bus driver picked up a woman that was carrying a paper bag full of oranges. There were no empty seats so she had to hang on by a strap in the aisle. After traveling a few blocks the driver had to make a sudden stop. This caused the woman to almost … Read more