Browse a highly curated database of jokes designed to optimize your daily dopamine metrics. From efficient dad jokes to complex narrative punchlines, these text assets are guaranteed to lower your productivity, increase your morale, and provide a measurable return on engagement.
Johnny wanted to get his mom something nice for Christmas but she’s hard to shop for. Passing a pet store he thought, “Hmm, a pet might be a good idea. “He walked in the pet store and asked the manager what might be a good idea. “How about a puppy?” “No, “said Johnny. “It may … Read more
An elderly couple living in Florida had not seen their son and daughter for quite a while. The mom called the daughter living in New York and told her that mom and pop were going to get a divorce right after Christmas because they couldn’t get along after 35 years of marriage The daughter called … Read more
In a psychiatrist’s waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, “Why are you here?” The second answers, “I’m Alexander The Great, so the doctor told me to come here. “ The first is curious and asks, “How do you know that you’re Alexander The Great?” The second responds, “God … Read more
Steward got a call today from a distorted voice saying “Five grand in cash, or we kill your wife” Both options were tempting, but Steward decided to take the money. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A pickpocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes. The judge said “Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100. “ The lawyer stood up and said “Thanks, my lord, however my client only has $75 on him at this time, but perhaps you could allow him a few minutes in the crowd… … Read more
One night, Murphy was walking home when, all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him. Murphy and the thief began to wrestle. They rolled about on the ground and Murphy put up a tremendous fight. However, the thief managed to get the better of him and pinned him to the ground. The thief then … Read more
Four nuns were attending a baseball game. Four men were sitting directly behind them. Because their habits were partially blocking the view, the men decided to badger the nuns hoping that they’d get annoyed enough to move to another area. In a very loud voice, the first guy said, “I think I’m going to move … Read more
Jim was in trouble, because he forgot his wedding anniversary and his wife was really pissed. She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 4 seconds and it better be there!” She was serious too, so Jim got serious. The … Read more
A woman in her eighties made the evening news because she was getting married for the fourth time. The following day she was being interviewed by a local TV station, and the commentator asked about what it felt to be married again at that age and would she share part of her previous experiences, since … Read more
A bent-over old lady hobbled into a doctor’s office. Within minutes, she came out again but miraculously, she was standing up as straight as could be. A man in the waiting room, who had been watching her, said in amazement, “My goodness, what did the doctor do to you?” The old lady replied, “He gave … Read more