Jokes
Browse a highly curated database of jokes designed to optimize your daily dopamine metrics. From efficient dad jokes to complex narrative punchlines, these text assets are guaranteed to lower your productivity, increase your morale, and provide a measurable return on engagement.
Jack I’ve
Steve lies dying, as Jack, his law partner of 40 years, sits at his bedside. “Jack, I’ve got to confess — I’ve been sleeping with your wife for 30 years, I’m the father of your daughter, and I’ve been stealing from the firm for a decade. “ “Relax, “says Jack, “and don’t think about it. … Read more
Final Request
Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes. Then the three men are each given a final request. The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible. His request is granted, and they poison … Read more
Pain Please Allow
A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed-off and watched in horror as the ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the men and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to … Read more
Efficiency Expert Concluded
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. “You don’t want to try these techniques at home. “ “Why not?” asked somebody from the audience. “I watched my wife’s routine at breakfast for years, “the expert explained. “She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a … Read more
Hollers Lady
A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift. “Well, “says the doctor, “I can do the facelift, and then you’ll have to come back in six months for a follow-up. “ “Oh, no. “the woman replies. “I want it all done in one shot. I don’t want to have to come … Read more
Empty Seat Next
A lawyer trying to get tickets to a Broadway show, finally settled for a couple of seats a year in advance. When the exciting night arrived and he sat down in his seat, a woman in front of the lawyer noticed the empty seat next to him and asked why such a valuable commodity was … Read more
Tranquilizers Calmed
The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, “You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly. “ On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, “Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?” “Yes”, the boy’s mother answered. “And how is your son now?” the psychiatrist asked. … Read more
Causes Arthritis Mister
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the disheveled … Read more
Sure Lady Which
A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. Waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up. Sitting … Read more