A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering the beat. He stopped the car and asked, “Why, Irish Mike, this wouldn’t be your new beat out here in the sticks, would it?” “That it is, “Irish … Read more
A policeman stops two drunks and asks one, “Where do you live?” “Nowhere”, the first drunk replied. “And where do you live?”, he asks the other. “We’re neighbors. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
The Australian rugby team is being driven through Dublin. The driver shouts out, ‘And if you look to your left you’ll see we’re going past the biggest pub in the city.’ A voice from the back shouts, ‘Why? This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man and wife are at a volleyball game when they notice a very affectionate couple who are running their hands over each other passionately. ‘I don’t know whether to watch them or the game,’ says the man. ‘Watch them!’ says his wife. ‘You already know how to play volleyball.’ This joke is included in … Read more
Two elderly gin-soaked colonels are sitting at the bar of their club. ‘Lend me a tenner for a month, old boy,’ says one. ‘What does a month-old boy want a tenner for?’ asks the other. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Uncle gives little Johnny a £5 note for his birthday. ‘Spend it carefully,’ says Uncle. “Remember – a fool and his money are soon parted.’ Little Johnny replies, ‘Well you certainly handed it over fast enough.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A young man wants to be left something in his aunt’s will, so every day he goes round and takes her poodles for a walk. When she finally dies, she does indeed remember the kindness of her nephew – and leaves him the poodles. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You … Read more
An Englishman, an Irish man, and a Scottish man are in a desert, they got captured by the Germans. The Germans say, “We will give you one thing before you die. “ The Englishman says “water”, the Scotch man says “whiskey”, the Irish man says “a car door”. The Germans say, “Why do you want … Read more
A guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one to spend eternity in. In the first room, people are standing in shit up to their necks. The guy says “no, let me see the next room. “ In the second room, … Read more
Jimmy said to his friend, ‘can you lend me $100?’ ‘But I only have $50,’ his friend replied. That’s OK, you can always owe me the other $50! This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.