A couple boarded a modern jetliner for a trip to New York. The jetliner gets full of passengers and they are to go but they notice that there are no attendants or pilots. The door closes and the jetliner starts taxing down the taxiway towards the runway and starts to take off as they are … Read more
A man walks into a New York City bank and says he wants to borrow $2,000 for three weeks. The loan officer asks him what kind of collateral he has. The man says “I’ve got a Rolls Royce — keep it until the loan is paid off — here are the keys. “ The loan … Read more
Englishman, Scottishman and Irishman selling bibles door to door, they have a bet who will sell the most in a day. They meet up at the end of day and an Englishman has sold 2, a Scottsman has sold 3, but the Irishman who had a terrible stutter says “Iiii sssold ssssixty. “ The other … Read more
“Doctor, my sister thinks that she is a lift. “ “Tell her to come in. “ “I cannot” “Why so?” “Because she does not stop at this floor. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
There are three moms: a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. They were all talking one day and the brunette says “Oh my gosh y’all I went through my daughter’s purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed. I cannot believe she smokes weed” They comfort her, and … Read more
During a cold winter day an old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line, and waited patiently for a bite. He was there for almost an hour, without even a nibble, when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in … Read more
Bill and Earl are out playing golf. They get to the 17th tee, which overlooks a small lake, and see two guys out on the lake fishing. Bill says, “Hey Earl check out these two idiots fishing’ in the rain!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more
Two guys are fishing when one of them catches a fish. He brings it in the boat and as he cuts it open to clean it, a genie pops out and says, “Thanks for freeing me. I will grant you one wish. “ The fisherman looks around and says, “Well, we are almost out of … Read more
“Mom, can I buy some heels?” “No. “ Mom, can I buy a bra?” “No. “ “Mom, can I buy a dress?” “No. “ “Mom, can I buy a Barbie doll?” “No. You never let me buy anything!” “Shut up, Justin. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order … Read more
A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news. “ “Oh dear, what’s the bad news?” asks the patient. The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live. “ “That’s terrible, “said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?” The doctor replies, “I’ve been trying to contact you … Read more