How Do You Spell Paint? – Director Hears

A director’s wife hears that her husband has a new secretary. The director comes home and the wife starts putting questions: “Does this new secretary of yours have nice legs?” “I don’t know. “ “What color do her eyes have?” “I didn’t notice… “ “But about dressing, how does she dress?” “Very fast… “ This … Read more

Priest Rushed

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he … Read more

Tailor Shop

A young lad went to a tailor shop in Scotland. He told the tailor, “I’d like ye to make me a kilt with this material here, and if ye don’t mind, I’d like ye to make me a pair of matching underwear for it. I hear it gets a might drafty up dem tings. “ … Read more

Peltry Syndrome Those

Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly. One student said to his friend: “I’m sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that. “ The other student says: “No, I don’t … Read more

Spell Accountant

Little Johnny was in class and the teacher announced that they were going to try something different to help everyone get to know each other a little better, and to help with their spelling. She explained, “I want you to stand up and give us the occupation of your father, spell it, and say one … Read more

Moments Later

Wanting to have a quick love-making session, the couple told their eight year old son to go stand on the balcony with a popsicle and to report to them all the neighborhood activities. He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into action. “There’s a car being towed from the parking lot, “he … Read more

Bags Packed

A man came home from work one day to find his wife sitting on the front porch with her bags packed. He asked her where she was going, and she replied, “I’m going to Las Vegas. “ He questioned her as to why and she told him, “I just found out that I can make … Read more

Wrong Herbert Grinned

The other day, Nancy and Herbert got into some petty argument but neither of them would admit the possibility that we might be in error. To her credit, Nancy finally said, “Look. I’ll tell you what. I’ll admit I’m wrong if you admit I was right. “ “Ok. Fine. “Herbert said. She took a deep … Read more

Yup Socks Underwear

Two old friends were chatting. One said to the other, “My 85th birthday was yesterday. The wife gave me an SUV. “ Other guy responded, “Wow, that’s amazing! Imagine that, an SUV… What a great gift!” “Yup! Socks, Underwear, and Viagra!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it … Read more

Discretion Shouts

A man has five children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife, “Mother of Five” in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it’s time to go home and wants to find out if his … Read more